Who Buys These Things?

“Here, kitty, kitty.”

I’ve always had mixed feelings about ebay listings that show the seller’s pet. Cats are especially notorious for wandering into the shot just as you snap the shutter:

On the one hand, I love animals and I’m happy to support my fellow pet-owners. On the other hand, there’s no telling whether Fluffy used her litter box before walking all over that sweater I’m about to buy:

However, I draw the line at snarling raccoons.

This charming little rodent must qualify as a “pet” because he shows up in nearly all of this seller’s listings. There he is, wagging his tongue, enjoying a snack, even trying out the silverware.

No comments

An experience the customer will never forget

I stumbled across this oh-so-cleverly packaged t-shirt on eBay. A quick web search yields no information about the “Sears Customer Experience Challenge” — though I suspect the logo tells me everything I need to know. (“And the top prize for screwing the most customers goes to…”)

No comments

Does this mean the windshield wiper fluid is saliva?

Step aside, Herbie — there’s a new Love Bug in town. The Gene Simmons VW beetle, formerly a radio station promo car, is yours for a mere $10,000.

No comments

If manual transmissions are outlawed, only outlaws will have manual transmissions

I’m not sure what’s better: the fact that a pistol-shaped shifter knob exists, or the number of reviewers who complained because you don’t change gears by pulling the trigger.

No comments

Next: The in-dash ketchup dispenser

French fry adapter for a vehicle’s cup holder: “This accessory will hold French fry containers of each size that are used by most fast food chains.”

No comments

Put some ‘dub’ in your step

Hand-painted Skrillex & deadmau5 shoes. Instead of “click-click-click”, these high heels go “WHOMP!-WHOMP!-WHOMP!” when you walk.

No comments

Please be seated

Best seat in the house? Or just the sparkliest one? At $21,000, the Swarovski crytal-encrusted “Money Chair” lives up to its name.

Ferrari 360 Daytona office chair: Great for pretending you’re a race car driver while stuck in your cube.

“I don’t know which upholstery I like best. Can’t I just have them all?”

Rock ‘n roll.

“Taps of your choice can be added to give a kooky vibe” — in case a sofa made out of an old bathtub isn’t kooky enough for you.

A seat only Oscar the Grouch could love.

No comments

How to dress like you just don’t care

Everyone knows that Honey Badger don’t give a sh!t. Now your wardrobe can show everyone that you don’t give a sh!t, either:

From the first moment you put on the Honey Badger hoodie, you can feel all your fears slipping away. No longer will you worry about fitting in with rigid societal norms! You want to eat a live cobra for dinner? Do it! Who cares what your neighbors think? Not you!

And if you want to rock a Honey Badger tail with glittery spandex pants, well, you go right ahead.

I think these “Honey Badger flats” might technically be cheetahs, but whatevs. I don’t really care what kind of animal they are, and neither should you.

No comments

Five Wolf Lightning wall plaque

Five wolves with lightning plaque — because you can’t hang a Three Wolf Moon t-shirt on your living room wall.

No comments

Highway robbery

Here’s a fun game to keep the kids occupied on your next long car trip. It’s called “Who can pay the road toll without getting arrested?” Just give your kids a roll of quarters and a turnpike toll gun, then stop at the toll booth and roll down the windows. First kid to pay the entire toll wins!

No comments

Next Page »