Who Buys These Things?

Keep track of frequently changing gusts of hot air with this handcrafted Donald Trump weathervane.

Love authentic western decor? It doesn’t get much more real than this Decorative Cowboy Boot Stepping in a Cowpie.

Bizarre cat woman sculpture – it’s like have your very own naked, midget Jocelyn Wildenstein around the house.

Stained Glass Herbal Jamaican Penis Art.

Best seat in the house? Or just the sparkliest one? At $21,000, the Swarovski crytal-encrusted “Money Chair” lives up to its name.

Ferrari 360 Daytona office chair: Great for pretending you’re a race car driver while stuck in your cube.

“I don’t know which upholstery I like best. Can’t I just have them all?”

Rock ‘n roll.

“Taps of your choice can be added to give a kooky vibe” — in case a sofa made out of an old bathtub isn’t kooky enough for you.

A seat only Oscar the Grouch could love.

Five wolves with lightning plaque — because you can’t hang a Three Wolf Moon t-shirt on your living room wall.

You’ll be proud to display these fine porcelain plates in your home! Featuring beautiful images of scantily clad mothers and their hungry newborns — collect the whole set!

It’s probably not a contender to hang in the National Portrait Gallery, but artist Danielle Macindoe’s oil painting of Rick Santorum in front of a Santorum-splattered American flag offers a unique perspective on the man with the world’s worst Google problem. (Bonus: 50% of the sale price goes to the It Gets Better Project.)

“You’ve got something on your chin, Senator.”

Artist John Travisano presents an Eraserhead-esque caricature of Rick Santorum that’s almost as twisted as his views. Or maybe that bulging cranium is just his ego after winning Iowa?

Artist Paul Van Scott titled this trippy painting Magical Rick Santorum. There’s no clue as to what magical power(s) it possesses — maybe the ability to beat Mitt Romney?

Speaking of Mittens, the same artist has recreated his likeness with a mosaic of vintage political buttons. You can zoom in to see the actual buttons used. Incidentally, Mitt’s mouth is full of Spiro Agnew buttons — which is a lot better than having a mouth full of Santorum.

Say hello to a softer, fuzzier commander-in-chief with this Newt Gingrich felt finger puppet.

Get the matching Ron Paul finger puppet and you can stage your own debate! Unfortunately, the Santorum and Romney finger puppets aren’t available, so you’ll have to find a substitute (I suggest Kanye West and Dave Grohl with Hunter S. Thompson moderating. Now there’s a debate worth watching!)

Football-shaped garbage can with motion-activated helmet visor is “so nice you’ll want to put it on the front porch.”

Well, maybe if you live in one of them fancy neighborhoods (like Crafton).

Yeah, I’d throw my used kleenex and food waste in there.

Sunday, January 22 is the 39th anniversary of Roe versus Wade, and I’ll be decorating my home with a festive birth control and abortion mobile. What can I say? I’m a traditionalist.

Speaking of contraception, let’s say you’ve got some unused birth control pills lying around. Do you:
a) Throw them in the garbage?
b) Post them on Freecycle?
c) Turn them into jewelry?

You’ll never forget to take your pills when you store them in this decorated Hello Kitty birth control pill case.

Looking for a fool-proof method of contraception? Consider this vintage French birth control device:

I can’t say that I’ve ever thought about hanging a picture of a menstrual extractor on my living room wall (or, um, anywhere). But I’m giving it serious consideration, after finding artist Heather Ault’s stunning posters documenting contraceptive and abortion options from around the world at 4000yearsforchoice.com. Her prints are intriguing, informative, and graphic (in a good way) and you can buy them on Etsy.