Who Buys These Things?

Archive for the 'Animals' Category

Cat Woman

cat woman sculpture

Bizarre cat woman sculpture – it’s like have your very own naked, midget Jocelyn Wildenstein around the house.

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“Here, kitty, kitty.”

I’ve always had mixed feelings about ebay listings that show the seller’s pet. Cats are especially notorious for wandering into the shot just as you snap the shutter:

On the one hand, I love animals and I’m happy to support my fellow pet-owners. On the other hand, there’s no telling whether Fluffy used her litter box before walking all over that sweater I’m about to buy:

However, I draw the line at snarling raccoons.

This charming little rodent must qualify as a “pet” because he shows up in nearly all of this seller’s listings. There he is, wagging his tongue, enjoying a snack, even trying out the silverware.

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How to dress like you just don’t care

Everyone knows that Honey Badger don’t give a sh!t. Now your wardrobe can show everyone that you don’t give a sh!t, either:

From the first moment you put on the Honey Badger hoodie, you can feel all your fears slipping away. No longer will you worry about fitting in with rigid societal norms! You want to eat a live cobra for dinner? Do it! Who cares what your neighbors think? Not you!

And if you want to rock a Honey Badger tail with glittery spandex pants, well, you go right ahead.

I think these “Honey Badger flats” might technically be cheetahs, but whatevs. I don’t really care what kind of animal they are, and neither should you.

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Five Wolf Lightning wall plaque

Five wolves with lightning plaque — because you can’t hang a Three Wolf Moon t-shirt on your living room wall.

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Step 1: Play this record at top volume in the woods

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It’s got a good beat, and…

… well, that’s about all you’ll find on this LP of canine heart sounds.

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Sometimes, the title says it all

Vintage Two Dogs Having Sex Ashtray

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Bathroom Makeover: Extreme Edition

rabbit_toiletSure, you could impress guests by having an ultra-modern bathroom, complete with a fancy Japanese washlet (“the first intelligent, “aware of you” toilet that takes personal hygiene to a new level”!) and a $47,200 bathtub.

Or you could just crochet over everything, from the toilet to the liquid soap dispenser.

And don’t forget the all-important holiday-themed toilet paper cozies!

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Take that, you furry little ****!

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