Who Buys These Things?

Archive for the 'Handmade Horrors' Category

Power hungry

I got a new phone for Christmas! But it totally eats the battery.

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Cat Woman

cat woman sculpture

Bizarre cat woman sculpture – it’s like have your very own naked, midget Jocelyn Wildenstein around the house.

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Giant War Tank Pinata

Fill it with candy. Or 120 mm shells.

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Remembering Whitney Houston

Whitney Houston’s death last weekend has spawned an outpouring of remembrances and fan tributes, from tearful eulogies delivered by high-profile celebs at her funeral, to the less publicized (and occasionally more interesting) sale of Whitney-themed memorabilia on eBay and Etsy.

Crafty-minded sellers are rendering her likeness on everything from memorial plaques and wine barrels to night lights and doll heads.

I wonder what it’s like to direct a choir of angles? “Acutes, you’re starting the refrain too early. And let’s hear a little more from the Obtuse section, please.”

“How Will You Know where the bathroom is in the middle of the night? Whitney will guide you.”

Looking for a wearable tribute that shows everyone how much you loved Whitney? Consider this leather jacket:

Some of Whitney’s own tour fashions are also up for sale, including this Marc Bouwer-designed catsuit and beaded tights:

Sunglasses sold separately.

And finally, there are the Whitney-themed domain names: dozens of web addresses, from OfficialWhitne​yHouston.com and WhitneyHoust​onfanclub.co​m to my personal favorite, the über-classy CRACK IS WHACK.COM:

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To boldly go…

Airbrushed Star Trek Enterprise toilet seat. (Insert your own “Number One” joke here.)

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Best seats in the house

Nothing says luxury like a hand-carved leather toilet seat:

Don’t believe me? Just ask “The Happy Hemptress”, shown here proudly displaying her classy rose-and-pot-leaf themed seat:

Just look at that big grin! That toilet seat sure is making her happy! Just think how much happier you would be if you were greeted by that every time nature called.

But maybe you’re aiming (heh) for something more upscale? Perhaps a seat emblazoned with a famous designer logo is more your style:

Or an Amy Winehouse tribute toilet seat that’s both “bejeweled and shellacked” (much like its namesake!)

I’m actually quite fond of this toilet seat featuring gay pulp paperback covers — only I fear I’d be consumed trying to read them all and forget why I went in there in the first place:

This next one poses an interesting metaphysical dilemma: If said “dump” is in progress, then why is the lid down? And if the lid is up and the sign thus obscured, is the aforementioned activity actually happening? Wouldn’t this make more sense as a sign on the door?

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Super-tacky Bowl XLVI

Coming soon to a front yard in Pennsylvania: Michael Vick windchimes take on the Pittsburgh Steelers birdhouse in a battle for the championship.

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Glue Blood

Sadly, Grandma has since been banned from the crafts room at the nursing home.

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Nobody ever called Bill O’Reilly an “egghead”

Until now…

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Put down the Bedazzler and no one gets hurt

What could be classier than an oversized, acid-washed denim jacket? How about one that’s hand-painted and covered in rhinestones?

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