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Archive for the 'Yinz gonna love it!' Category

So long, Hines Ward

In case you haven’t heard, #86 has been eighty-sixed. Yesterday, the Steelers announced they will release Hines Ward, and predictably, Steeler Nation has gone into collective mourning.

Ward posted a fond farewell on his Facebook page, saying “I will always bleed black and gold.”

Now would be the perfect time to stock up on Ward memorabilia. Don’t have a stack of Benjamins to drop on an autographed jersey? Here are some less-expensive ways to remember the Super Bowl XL MVP and winner of “Dancing With The Stars”.

Handmade Hines Ward wooden figure on Etsy

Crocheted Hines Ward doll w/ removable helmet (also on Etsy)

Ceramic Hines Ward rock head, “with a flat spot on his head to hold your remote.”

Guns Don’t Kill People t-shirt

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Isn’t it romantic?

Half off tattoo name cover ups? Somebody better tell this guy:

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Gentlemen, start your engines…

Season 4 of RuPaul’s Drag Race continues tonight (if you don’t get Logo, or don’t live near a bar that gets Logo, you can watch the show on the website. Also, you should move.)

Fortunately, I do get Logo (as well as live near plenty of bars), so tonight you’ll find me waving my Absolut Vodka pom-poms as I root for Pittsburgh’s very own Sharon Needles!

“Two-four-six-eight! Let’s-drink-until-we-can’t-see-straight!
Three-five-seven-nine! Out of vodka? Switch to wine!”

Ahem. Anyway, back to the show… Sharon easily won the first week’s challenge with her eerily gorgeous post-apocalyptic couture:

The next week she pulled a 180, donning the type of girly garb more typically seen on Betsey Johnson’s runway during Fashion Week:

Both times she was stunning. Who knows what fashion tricks she has up her sleeve for this week? Will she return to the dark side? After all, this is Sharon Needles who does Marilyn Manson better than Marilyn Manson. But this girl is versatile, and clearly loves surprises. No matter what she wears, I’m sure she’ll be a knockout. Sharon, honey, your fans are waiting with baited breath! Good luck tonight!

And remember:

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Football trash talk

Football-shaped garbage can with motion-activated helmet visor is “so nice you’ll want to put it on the front porch.”

Well, maybe if you live in one of them fancy neighborhoods (like Crafton).

Yeah, I’d throw my used kleenex and food waste in there.

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God’s Favorite Football Team

So apparently the Big Guy Upstairs is NOT a member of Steeler Nation. Yinzers everywhere wept over last night’s swift, stunning defeat, while (Bronchites? Broncoans? What do Denver fans call themselves, anyway?) got down on their knees and prayed to their new savior.


Well, fine. You can have your “Mile High Messiah” and your media attention and your trendy new verb that, frankly, sounds like it could be a gay sex act.* We’ll keep our 6 rings and our heads held high, and pack away our Terrible Towels until next season.

*Am I the only person who thinks this? A guy in tight pants gets down on one knee in the midst of a bunch of other guys in tight pants, while the voyeuristic crowd goes wild… Dan Savage, are you listening?


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Super-tacky Bowl XLVI

Coming soon to a front yard in Pennsylvania: Michael Vick windchimes take on the Pittsburgh Steelers birdhouse in a battle for the championship.

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