Who Buys These Things?

Archive for the 'Clothing' Category

An experience the customer will never forget

I stumbled across this oh-so-cleverly packaged t-shirt on eBay. A quick web search yields no information about the “Sears Customer Experience Challenge” — though I suspect the logo tells me everything I need to know. (“And the top prize for screwing the most customers goes to…”)

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How to dress like you just don’t care

Everyone knows that Honey Badger don’t give a sh!t. Now your wardrobe can show everyone that you don’t give a sh!t, either:

From the first moment you put on the Honey Badger hoodie, you can feel all your fears slipping away. No longer will you worry about fitting in with rigid societal norms! You want to eat a live cobra for dinner? Do it! Who cares what your neighbors think? Not you!

And if you want to rock a Honey Badger tail with glittery spandex pants, well, you go right ahead.

I think these “Honey Badger flats” might technically be cheetahs, but whatevs. I don’t really care what kind of animal they are, and neither should you.

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Remembering Whitney Houston

Whitney Houston’s death last weekend has spawned an outpouring of remembrances and fan tributes, from tearful eulogies delivered by high-profile celebs at her funeral, to the less publicized (and occasionally more interesting) sale of Whitney-themed memorabilia on eBay and Etsy.

Crafty-minded sellers are rendering her likeness on everything from memorial plaques and wine barrels to night lights and doll heads.

I wonder what it’s like to direct a choir of angles? “Acutes, you’re starting the refrain too early. And let’s hear a little more from the Obtuse section, please.”

“How Will You Know where the bathroom is in the middle of the night? Whitney will guide you.”

Looking for a wearable tribute that shows everyone how much you loved Whitney? Consider this leather jacket:

Some of Whitney’s own tour fashions are also up for sale, including this Marc Bouwer-designed catsuit and beaded tights:

Sunglasses sold separately.

And finally, there are the Whitney-themed domain names: dozens of web addresses, from OfficialWhitne​yHouston.com and WhitneyHoust​onfanclub.co​m to my personal favorite, the über-classy CRACK IS WHACK.COM:

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Everything’s better when it sits on a Ritz!

…well, almost everything.

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Put down the Bedazzler and no one gets hurt

What could be classier than an oversized, acid-washed denim jacket? How about one that’s hand-painted and covered in rhinestones?

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His mom must be so proud

So many young people don’t think about their parents these days – but not this young man!

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Don’t sell it if you can’t spell it.

It’s Polamalu, people. P-O-L-A-M-A-L-U. Seriously, read the writing on the jerseys you’re trying to sell.

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Acid wash flashback

BeverlyHillsJacket The 1980s were awash (literally) in a sea of big hair and ugly denim. There was enough bad acid going around to rival Woodstock. And when it was mixed with other substances (like rhinestones), the results were often deadly.

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Dress for Success

Frank couldn’t understand it; he’d had plenty of job interviews, yet still no one would hire him.

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Buckle up!

skilsaw_buckleAnd for god’s sake, make sure the safety guard is on.