Who Buys These Things?

Put some ‘dub’ in your step

Hand-painted Skrillex & deadmau5 shoes. Instead of “click-click-click”, these high heels go “WHOMP!-WHOMP!-WHOMP!” when you walk.

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Please be seated

Best seat in the house? Or just the sparkliest one? At $21,000, the Swarovski crytal-encrusted “Money Chair” lives up to its name.

Ferrari 360 Daytona office chair: Great for pretending you’re a race car driver while stuck in your cube.

“I don’t know which upholstery I like best. Can’t I just have them all?”

Rock ‘n roll.

“Taps of your choice can be added to give a kooky vibe” — in case a sofa made out of an old bathtub isn’t kooky enough for you.

A seat only Oscar the Grouch could love.

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How to dress like you just don’t care

Everyone knows that Honey Badger don’t give a sh!t. Now your wardrobe can show everyone that you don’t give a sh!t, either:

From the first moment you put on the Honey Badger hoodie, you can feel all your fears slipping away. No longer will you worry about fitting in with rigid societal norms! You want to eat a live cobra for dinner? Do it! Who cares what your neighbors think? Not you!

And if you want to rock a Honey Badger tail with glittery spandex pants, well, you go right ahead.

I think these “Honey Badger flats” might technically be cheetahs, but whatevs. I don’t really care what kind of animal they are, and neither should you.

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Five Wolf Lightning wall plaque

Five wolves with lightning plaque — because you can’t hang a Three Wolf Moon t-shirt on your living room wall.

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Highway robbery

Here’s a fun game to keep the kids occupied on your next long car trip. It’s called “Who can pay the road toll without getting arrested?” Just give your kids a roll of quarters and a turnpike toll gun, then stop at the toll booth and roll down the windows. First kid to pay the entire toll wins!

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Giant War Tank Pinata

Fill it with candy. Or 120 mm shells.

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So long, Hines Ward

In case you haven’t heard, #86 has been eighty-sixed. Yesterday, the Steelers announced they will release Hines Ward, and predictably, Steeler Nation has gone into collective mourning.

Ward posted a fond farewell on his Facebook page, saying “I will always bleed black and gold.”

Now would be the perfect time to stock up on Ward memorabilia. Don’t have a stack of Benjamins to drop on an autographed jersey? Here are some less-expensive ways to remember the Super Bowl XL MVP and winner of “Dancing With The Stars”.

Handmade Hines Ward wooden figure on Etsy

Crocheted Hines Ward doll w/ removable helmet (also on Etsy)

Ceramic Hines Ward rock head, “with a flat spot on his head to hold your remote.”

Guns Don’t Kill People t-shirt

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New from The Franklin Mint: MILF Plates

You’ll be proud to display these fine porcelain plates in your home! Featuring beautiful images of scantily clad mothers and their hungry newbornscollect the whole set!

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Remembering Whitney Houston

Whitney Houston’s death last weekend has spawned an outpouring of remembrances and fan tributes, from tearful eulogies delivered by high-profile celebs at her funeral, to the less publicized (and occasionally more interesting) sale of Whitney-themed memorabilia on eBay and Etsy.

Crafty-minded sellers are rendering her likeness on everything from memorial plaques and wine barrels to night lights and doll heads.

I wonder what it’s like to direct a choir of angles? “Acutes, you’re starting the refrain too early. And let’s hear a little more from the Obtuse section, please.”

“How Will You Know where the bathroom is in the middle of the night? Whitney will guide you.”

Looking for a wearable tribute that shows everyone how much you loved Whitney? Consider this leather jacket:

Some of Whitney’s own tour fashions are also up for sale, including this Marc Bouwer-designed catsuit and beaded tights:

Sunglasses sold separately.

And finally, there are the Whitney-themed domain names: dozens of web addresses, from OfficialWhitne​yHouston.com and WhitneyHoust​onfanclub.co​m to my personal favorite, the über-classy CRACK IS WHACK.COM:

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Isn’t it romantic?

Half off tattoo name cover ups? Somebody better tell this guy:

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